Myths and truths about adoption

What keeps children waiting is often a misunderstanding.

Many families who could welcome a child hold back because of something they have heard. Here are the myths, fears and everyday phrases we hear most in India, and what we believe instead.

10 common myths

What people believe, and what we believe.

Ordered from the ones we hear most often. On one side, what people often believe; on the other, what we believe.

  1. 01
    Myth

    “Bloodline is everything. Only biological children carry forward family values.”

    What we believe

    Values are passed on through upbringing: what a child sees, hears and learns at home.

  2. 02
    Myth

    “Adopted children will never love you like biological children.”

    What we believe

    Love and attachment grow through consistent care and a sense of safety, not biology.

  3. 03
    Myth

    “Only couples who can't have children should adopt.”

    What we believe

    Adoption is about giving a child a family. Many families adopt by choice, whether or not they have biological children.

  4. 04
    Myth

    “A child's background decides their future.”

    What we believe

    Nurture shapes a child deeply. A stable, loving family can change the course of a child's life.

  5. 05
    Myth

    “Adopted children have behaviour problems.”

    What we believe

    Children who have known loss may need time and trauma-informed care to feel safe. With patience and support, they thrive like any child.

  6. 06
    Myth

    “Older children can't settle into a family.”

    What we believe

    Children of every age need love and stability. Older children bond deeply too, given patience, preparation and a nurturing home.

  7. 07
    Myth

    “The legal process is too complicated and takes years.”

    What we believe

    The steps are there to protect the child. With guidance from adoption agencies and CARA, many families complete the process in a reasonable time.

  8. 08
    Myth

    “Adoption costs too much.”

    What we believe

    There are costs, but adoption fees are set under CARA's regulations, so families know what to expect before they begin.

  9. 09
    Myth

    “Only married couples can adopt.”

    What we believe

    Single women and single men can adopt in India too. A single man can adopt only a boy.

  10. 10
    Myth

    “Adopted children can't inherit property.”

    What we believe

    A legally adopted child has the same rights as a biological child, including the right to inherit.

Behind many myths sits a real worry.

Next: Fears, and what helps

Fears, and what helps

It's natural to feel unsure. These worries have answers.

Social stigma

“What will people say?”

What helpsBeing open about adoption, and meeting other adoptive families, gives you and your child people who understand.

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Medical history

“We don't know the child's medical history.”

What helpsBefore you decide, the child's Medical Examination Report shares their health status. CARA requires it to reflect the child's actual health and to be kept up to date.

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Bonding

“What if the child doesn't bond with us?”

What helpsBonds grow through consistent, patient care. Preparation before placement and support afterwards make a real difference.

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The legal process

“The legal process feels overwhelming.”

What helpsEach step is there to protect the child. Agencies guide families through it, and CARA runs a helpline: 1800-11-1311.

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The birth family

“What if the birth family comes back for the child?”

What helpsA child is placed for adoption only after the Child Welfare Committee declares them legally free, following a search for their family. Once the adoption order is made, the child is legally yours in every way.

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Being a parent

“Will I feel like a “real” parent?”

What helpsA parent is the one who loves, protects and raises a child, day after day.

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Cost

“Can we afford another child?”

What helpsAdoption fees are set in advance, so you can plan for them as you would any other part of family life.

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Meeting their needs

“What if we can't give the child what they need?”

What helpsYou won't do it alone. Preparation before a child arrives, and support afterwards, help families meet their child's needs.

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Let’s talk

Is one of these on your mind, or something not on the list?

You don’t have to work it out alone. Whether it is one of the worries above or something we haven’t listed, tell us. Someone will listen, with no pressure and no judgement.

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These worries often show up in everyday words.

Next: Things people say

Things people say

Words that hold children back, and a kinder way to see it.

“Yeh toh apna khoon nahi hai.”This is not our own blood.
A kinder way to see itFamily is made by love and daily care, not only by blood.
“Biological children are better because you know their background.”
A kinder way to see itEvery child is their own person. Every family learns as they go.
“Adopted kids will always want to find their real parents.”
A kinder way to see itWanting to know their story is natural and healthy. It doesn't take away from the family who raised them.
“What if they leave you when they grow up?”
A kinder way to see itChildren who feel secure and loved stay close, as any child does.
“You never know what kind of genes they have.”
A kinder way to see itNo parent knows who their child will become. Nurture matters deeply.
“Pata nahi kaunse maa baap ka bachha hai.”Who knows whose child this is.
A kinder way to see itEvery child deserves to be welcomed for who they are, not judged for where they came from.
“It's better to help them financially than to bring them home.”
A kinder way to see itMoney can't replace a family. Children need belonging, not only support.
“God has not given you kids, so maybe it's not meant to be.”
A kinder way to see itFor many families, adoption is exactly how their family was meant to come together.

Together, these add up to real barriers.

Next: Barriers children face

Barriers children face

Why children wait longer than they should.

Each of these is something we can change together, one family and one conversation at a time.

  1. 01

    Strict legal procedures

    The checks that protect children can take time, and families often don't know what to expect.

  2. 02

    Preference for biological children

    Many families see adoption only as a last resort.

  3. 03

    Age and gender preferences

    Most families hope for an infant, so older children wait much longer.

  4. 04

    Lack of awareness

    Many people don't know the process, who can adopt, or what support exists.

  5. 05

    Social stigma

    Beliefs about lineage, inheritance and family honour discourage adoption.

  6. 06

    Worries about cost

    Some assume adoption, and raising a child, will be too expensive.

  7. 07

    Hesitation about older children and special needs

    Children over two, or with disabilities, are often overlooked.

  8. 08

    Misconceptions about children's homes

    Some believe children are better off in an institution than in a family.

  9. 09

    Pressure from extended family

    Relatives may discourage adoption for cultural or religious reasons.

  10. 10

    Fear of the unknown

    Worry about how a child's past might shape their future.

Let’s talk

Facing one of these barriers, or one we haven’t named?

Whether you are a family, a caregiver or someone working with children, tell us what is in your way, from this list or not. We will listen, and help where we can.

Talk about one of these Something not listed WhatsApp us

Thinking about adoption, or have a question?

Next: Talk to us

Thinking about adoption?

We would love to hear from you. Ask us anything, with no pressure: we can help you understand the process and prepare for what lies ahead.

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